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My kids are really popular and naturally likeable kids. They all excel at sports and most excel at academics too and to top it off they are really really attractive kids. Just hit a genetic jackpot.
They’ve been to state levels for their sports, make regionals for sports carnivals in sports they don’t even play. They are years ahead of average academically....
But by far the proudest moment of my parenting life that brought me to tears was when the principal pulled me aside and credited my kids for the lack of bullying within their years and as a school on a whole (they are in year 6,5,3,1 and prep.)
Because They are so popular , and they are such kind kids they always pull even their friends up when they see a wrong doing, they are real uplifters, in PE and the classroom they are always helping other kids. They won’t ever just watch bullying.
The principal said to me in his 40 years he’s never had such a peaceful school wnvironment and that he says it because my kids are all such positive leaders.
I’m Choking up just thinking about it.
I actually use to worry about their talents and good looks cow in a world that values that they could have well ended up on pedestals for gifts they have not for character.
I worries there was a danger to their gifts that when you don’t have to work for peoples affection it doesn’t. Require strong character. It’s hard to explain but yeah they are just so humble and decent and kind kids.
Some years ago I had a baby, a toddler and a preschooler. I went to do the grocery shopping. With a trolley full of groceries and a toddler, and a baby in the carrier I was walking back to the car. A young boy (looked about 15) came over to me and asked me if he could help in any way. This was in front of his mates. I politely declined (as the trolley was the only thing holding me up) and he walked back to his mates. Not one of them gave him shit and not one of them battered an eye when he did it.
I hate hearing people say how terrible delinquents. If I were to stereotype teenagers based on my experience with them, they are really respectful and willing to lend a hand or offer a seat.
I've found the same with teenagers.
I'll walk too and from the shops with my children riding bikes and there are often groups of teenagers hanging around. They always accommodate the children by hopping out of the way (even if my kids are swerving all over the place), and often say something kind like "cool bike" or even just wave at them.
Teenagers are always so patient and kind with children out in public in my experience.
Good job on raising such considerate and loving young men!!
Mum's seem to use the negative as a way of bonding with other Mum's. I think more people can relate to the crappy stuff than the good which unfortunately means that when we talk about the good people think we are bragging or lying (exaggerating).
I have really well behaved, good kids (14 and 12 years old) and although we celebrate all their achievements, awards and goals, I don't often share it with people outside our home. I wish more people would celebrate the good, personally I love hearing parents talk about the stuff that makes them proud to be a parent!
To be honest, this won’t sound nice but I don’t mean it with any harm.
As a parent of a child that we are having difficulty with, obviously all you ever want for your child is greatness: academic, healthy, honest, kind, beautiful caring well rounded souls. But you don’t always get this.
Sometimes you are having such a shit time the last thing you want to hear is that little Johnny is excelling in every single aspect of his life. It makes you die inside that bit more.
Does it mean people shouldn’t share the greatness that they are experiencing? No. They should be proud.
But i just wanted to share my thoughts and answer your question ‘ why do we not share about the good’
My 7 year old puts the coffee machine on every morning. Her twin brother makes them both breakfast , cereal or toast. All while I shower. I have a rack of school uniforms ready for the week so they dress easily. They help each other pack lunches, i check the contents and ignore the occasional sneaky Freddo chucked in. I get ready for work and put washing on etc while this is going on.
They are both doing really well at school, are half way through the year above in maths. The teacher continued a previous conversation about this and another mother overheard and was acting like my kids getting special treatment... they are in a bloody composite class so it’s not hard for them to do higher level maths.
I don’t talk much about any of this everyone acts like I am talking shit or blowing my own trumpet
You are lucky, and also you must be a very good mum that your kids are so thoughtful. You have brought them up with values, as well as consideration for others.
My guess is that other peoples kids are not so considerate, and your situation is unusual. I have seen the behaviour of kids in general deteriorate over the last 20 years or so.
The extreme spiteful bullying, the violence, the lack of consideration for others, including not getting up for old people on trains and buses seems to be the norm among children these days.
And a lot of it is neglectful parents. Parents with their noses buried in their phones, ignoring their kids, is not going to produce well socialised adults.
Parents who don't discipline their kids, don't deal with them if they are bullies or misbehaving at school, and who psychologically attack teachers when told about their children's behaviour rather than correct it, are not good role models.
The toddler years are always tough, and there's another rush of misbehaviour often when they start school, but it is the time put in with kids to correct behaviour that produces good adults.
My daughter is the most amazing human being. If I mention to someone something good she’s done I am accused of bragging and accused of implying that their kid is not as good as my kid. Someone can always turn it into a negative. I never overshared, it may be something simple as “ aww my girl knew I was sick and sent me to bed with a box of tissues “. So I gave up sharing.