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I'm so annoyed.... I am the breadwinner in my house, I have three kids under 10 years old. Hubby works full time too - yet I am expected to do ALL the housework.

I mean, sure he will do stuff when I ask him to, but only just, and with attitude.. and he wants a prize when he is finished... I'm so tired and angry - why can't he just help me out!!!!!!!!


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Answers (10)

How are you the breadwinner if you both work full time? I don't think you earning more means he should do more housework - if you both work full time, you both should do equal chores!

 I was about to write the same thing! OP even mentioning it means her attitude needs just as much fixing as her husbands. It doesn't matter how much either of you earn.
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 Eyeroll yourself, its important to the discussion
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 Yes, very important to write comments like that. 🙄
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 Perhaps you aren't intelligent enough to get the point? Hint: ops attitude towards her partners financial contributions
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 Perhaps you are just awful, going by the comments it sounds like it.
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 It may have been a typo, that she is also the bread winner. I would be more concerned about a man treating his wife like a slave.
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Hugs, it's not fair. I imagine you have tried talking to him about it. Have you drawn up a chores chart for you your family? It might not do much other than make a point. I was a stay at home and did everything, my family got used to it and when I went back to work they just wouldn't help at all. I started doing about 45 mins at night and cook meals and clean all weekend. Once I got exhausted I went off at everyone and gave them all jobs, it lasted about a day. So I just stopped doing everything. I buy ready made supermarket meals, I do all the washing and sort it into baskets of who owns it and if they want it folded and put away they can do it themselves. I just leave all the bits I find by the kids/husband doors, if it is still there in 24 hours I just throw it out. I spend about an hour cleaning on the weekends that's it.

How are you the 'breadwinner ' if you both work full time?..

My husband said it was my responsibility to do it all as he earned a lot more than me. I couldn't get a cleaner because I didn't earn enough to pay for it. I worked out how much to charge for doing his half of everything and took the money out each week. It was great, I had a fantastic new wardrobe and had nice hair, the odd facial. He was not pleased but kept doing it.

 As shitty as your husbands attitude sounds I'd seriously consider trading all the housework to be able to spoil myself constantly lol. I'm a single parent so it's irrelevant but by god do i miss going to the hairdressers and buying the things i want all the time 😂
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 The best part was how cross he was about it 😂.
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Sometimes you just have to explain that it's not your job, you both work the housework should be equal. Give him responsibility, if you don't think he will do any jobs regardless of what you say make the jobs things like a load of washing a week (make sure it's his clothes), cooking dinner on Friday night, if he doesn't cook make something simple for yourself and the kids and not him, don't pack his lunch. If you keep doing everything then it will always be your job, the only way to get him to help is to give him no choice.

I know that your situation probably applies to many other women in the world but that doesn't make it acceptable. At that rate you may as well be considered a single mum with 4 children. Relationships are supposed to be a partnership. Your husband is just getting the easy way out and you have to do all the hard yards. Tell him to get his shit together or one day he won't have anyone to do everytging for him.

I would sit down and go over the budget with him, show him how much the family will suffer if you stop working. Let him know that is what will happen if things don't change immediately!

 Um, I wouldn't do that. Not that way anyway. Threatening to limit your own financial independence sounds like cutting off your nose to spite your face, and he could call your bluff on it.
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 Why should she stop working? She should stop cleaning
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 Yes, just stop cleaning.
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When I got married I was expected to work full time and do all the cleaning, and it's not a small house. I just laughed and only did a bit of cleaning, my husband would just mess it up like a toddler anyway. I leaned very quickly not to do everything as it would become expected.

Sounds like a very busy household. Need to scrap some of his luxury's (beer, memberships etc) and hire a cleaner one or two days a week and have a fend for yourself Friday dinner and a cereal Saturday.