Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Feeling pretty shit

My 6 year old and 2 year old went to the dentist today :(
6 year old has decay on a molar and 2 year old has decay on both front teeth in the middle :(
I'm feeling so down about this like Iv failed them so badly
My 6year old took it like a champ got her needle to numb it and her filling with no complaint
The youngest will likely have to go under general
I'm feeling so ducking shit right now :(

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (9)

Oh nooooo it’s not your fault. Kids hate teeth brushing my 17 month old reuses and I’m petrified they’ll get decays but, I’m pretty sure it’s a genetic thing to have teeth that are predisposed to decaying... my family have awful teeth and I’ve alswsys brushed mine but I still have had heaps of fillings unfortunately.
They’ll be fine!! You’re so lucky he took it like a champ that’s sooo awesome. Testament to how cool he is, and how well you have brought him up
Chin up Darls xx

OP :( thankyou that made me feel a bit better
helpful (0) 
 My sister in law going through similar bow.. but 5 year old needs holding down or general anaesthetic to get them pulled.... sucks really but not your fault.
helpful (0) 
OP Thank god my eldest sat for it ... we'll see how the 2 yo goes he loved the dentist trip and getting his teeth polished and everything so fingers crossed
helpful (0) 

Don't feel bad at all, some people are just prone to it. I take very good care of my teeth, I don't eat/drink sweets etc I went to the dentist 3 weeks ago and he told me I have so much decay it's insane. Don't beat yourself up over it x

Don't feel bad, it can happen to anyone.

My boys caught nits nust have been during the last week of school. I had no idea (being boys with short hair, I don't comb it so never came across anything). My 18 month old daughter had them too (again, she has short hair so never thought to check). I saw them scratching but assumed it was from the heat, they had been playing under as tree ast MIL and said they had itchy heads so I checked in case they got something in it from that and when I looked they had quite a few. I was hortified and felt terrible that I didn't pick up on it sooner, I felt like I dropped the ball big time.

 Ahhhh my 2 curly headed toddler girls get nits constantly. As soon as I handle one batch the next lot come along. Does my fuckin head in and I feel like such a failure but my pharmacist said it’s so common and nothing to do with hygiene on your behalf, don’t feel bad xx
helpful (0) 
OP I feel bad I guess cos I know Iv dropped the ball with brushing their teeth my eldest particularly ... she got very good at brushing her teeth in front of me and when their bedtimes became the same I often let her brush unsurpervised
And didn't do a brush myself
And since school started I honestly struggle with brushing their teeth in the morning.

My youngest until recently hated brushed and had to be held down while I used a finger brush...


helpful (0) 

Honestly people's mouths vary so much. Some are prone to decay because they don't create lots of saliva perhaps? Whereas others don't brush their teeth and never get decay(me). I eat lots of sweet food and am forgetful to brush. The only time I got a filling was when I was pregnant and had a lot of morning sickness.. and I don't have bad breath. overseas my dentist told me my teeth just need a check up once a year min as there is hardly any plaque.. whereas others need it every three months. When I saw her I had not seen a dentist in three years and expected the worst. we all aren't perfect parents(I mean look at me- telling my kids to brush but I often don't?!? It's embarrassing). The awesome news is that those are the younger ones baby teeth. I always see kids with decay getting drilled at dentists, I swear it's the juice kids drink now and the changed diet, so you're not alone., and I think it's quite normal for them to go under. I understand your guilt but be kind to yourself and just work in improving. When your kids grow up you'll be able to tell them about your parenting flaws and teach them not to be ruined by guilt or failure like you feel now, but to accept that we aren't perfect and can move forward. Chin up mum, you're doing ok alright? Muah

Don't beat yourself up. See this as a learning curve. Floss every day, use those little flossing wands, apparently flossing is just as important as brushing. Good luck!

It happens and it might just be genetics or a million environmental factors. Or it might be something you're doing and didn't even realize it was causing tooth decay. Start with some dietary adjustments, try a better tooth brushing plan, and nothing but water to drink if they take a cup or bottle to bed. The best news is baby teeth are like practice teeth. You've caught on to the problem and can make changes before the adult ones grow in. My son has a toothbush that plays a song for 2.5 mins which is about how long he should brush for. The toddler toothbrushes that wrap the teeth and brush all sides at once are excellent for little guys who don't cooperate. We also had the hygienist (dental assitant) give our older ones a quick lesson on proper brushing and flossing techniques because they took it more seriously coming from professionals than their naggy mum.

It happens. My now 12 year old had two back molars pulled when he was 4. They put him under to do it. When I found out, I felt terrible. We brushed well, stayed away from many sweets and even watered down his juice and it still happened. The dentist told me that sometimes it just happens despite your best efforts. Didn’t make me feel better at the time though. Don’t beat yourself up.

OP I was so worried about them having to go under :/
helpful (0) 
 I was too but he handled it very well. When it was done, he looked at me and said “oh no, I fell asleep!” He didn’t realise that he was supposed to sleep or that they were already done. Yours will be fine too.
helpful (0) 

If it makes you feel any better my nephew is 12 and needs all his adult teeth removed due to decay. Mother would rather spend money on cigarettes, alcohol and gambling than health care for the kids. At least you make an effort.

OP Lol that doesn't really make me feel better lol
helpful (0) 

So I hope this doesn't sound rude, but is it obvious that there are problems? And if not, did you think about getting a second opinion?
I saw the dentist once when I was pregnant and was told I needed about 3 fillings, but I was on a medication that prevented major dental work. Went to another dentist about 6 months later, prepared for a long appointment and she said my teeth were fine!
The first dentists rooms were very quiet, the second was quite busy.
I personally think the first one just wanted to make some money.
I'm sorry if this is coming across the wrong way, but I'm just very hesitant about some dentists...

OP I appreciate the point of view...
Not the case though he's an old friend and extremely good at what he does... you can't feel anything he does and is just a remarkable dentist who works. For a very good practice.
he's doing my teeth end of the week and talked to his boss to take a couple hundred off for me, I know he'd do it for cost if he could. He has done before at a different practice.

He wasn't to just try a paste and monitor her front teeth to avoid the hospital but said he doesn't have high hope given her age

helpful (0)