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What do you do in private that would ruin your reputation if anyone else finds out about it?

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That I had a feud with a neighbour. She let her dog poo in our front yard, I asked her three separate times to pick it up but she would just walk away. I bought rubber gloves and started picking the poo up and leaving it in her yard, she still let her dog poo in my yard. The part I don't tell anyone is I wiped it on her front door step. That worked.

 Love it!
helpful (1) 
 My across the road neighbour picks up all the cat poo from her neighbours cat and puts it in her letter box lol
helpful (4) 
 I knew someone in this situation. But rather than throwing it back into their neighbours yard or wipe it on the front door step, they'd smear it under their car door handles.

And just like that, the dog *magically* stopped shitting in friends' front yard 😂

helpful (2) 
 Thats all gross and immature
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I am hooker

 Same, i have so much cash now it stresses me out.
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 Liar
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Probably wouldn't ruin my reputation but I know my friends would be shocked if they found out how much I lose my shit at my kids everyday and how often my partner isn't home. I'm the cool, calm and collected mum in our group. My friends see me as the free spirit who's parenting style is gentle/attachment parenting. They don't realise how stressed I am or how much I honestly lose my shit at the kids everyday.
They'd also be surprised at how often I do this parenting gig alone due to my parents work and study commitments. They both have very hands on fathers who are home every night where as my partner is home maybe 2 nights a week because of uni and overtime.

 I have 2 of the calm collected mum friends, and honestly, watching their calm crack is a great thing. Not because they're stressed, but because it reminds me they're still human. And I love them so much more in those moments.
helpful (4) 
 That was supposed to say my partners work and study commitments. Not parents 😂
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 Why are you fertile ?
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 ^ What? 😂
Is what I said so horrible?

helpful (0) 
 Why would you say something like why are you fertile?? That is terrible. The question is why are you fertile? I hope your kids don't take on your rude traits!
Op you and I are in the same boat. It sucks. Hang in there my friend. Sending love

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Everyone thinks I'm a cool calm collected parent that doesn't get flustered, never yell. Yeah that's in public only. At home I scream at the kids, I cry, I have anxiety, my house and garden is a mess and one of my children i have no idea how to help her cope with her very bad anxiety. I'm a big mess and I feel like I'm a crap mum.

 Wow. I could have written this. You are not alone.
helpful (3) 
 I wonder if your my neighbour, just letting you know your doing a great job.
helpful (3) 
 Unless your neighbour is over 2km away I doubt it's me sorry. Rural property. But thank you all the same.
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I drink... a lot

 Yeah, same. Im not really ever drunk as such but I have a beer while doing gardening, while watching telly etc so I have quite a few!
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That i smack my kids. Rarely and only when they are not responding to anything else and all has reached boiling point. Only on hand or bottom and only once. But still the look of betrayal they give me is soul crushing. People think im always in control and never smack. They think im smart and have a supportive husband when in reality i struggle to do uni im just a nerd and my huband is absent most of the time. On the surface we appear a wholesome happy family but in reality im an overworked stressed smacking single mum

 Same. When I do it I truly hate myself for it.
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Wouldn't ruin my reputation but people done realise how jealous I am. I bloody hate it. Trying to change but I'm so jealous over the smallest shit. I keep my cool as much as I can but inside I'm boiling up.

I'm a secret smoker but also a social media health and fitness ambassadar for big name brands and personal trainer. I've quitting and requitting for 7+ years. I go to epic lengths to keep it hidden.

 what about vaping instead?
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I dunno. I guess that I really have no idea how to do this parenting thing. Like I've got squat for ideas on how to do this. It's just feed them, love them, keep them alive, and occasionally bathe them. Maybe teach them some cool shit along the way.
I also regularly forget my reusable bags and either have to buy more, or just feel lazy and use the plastic ones.
I don't care enough about peoples opinions to care if they find out though.

 Don't feel bad about the bags, I forgot to put my recycling bin out and have had to throw all recycling in the rubbish for two weeks.
helpful (1) 
 Many of us in the same boat x
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 Same here. Parenting is literally getting me down so bad didn’t realise it would be as hard (yes amazing at the same time) but doing the Same as you. Keep on going xx
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Weed. Giant farts. Pick my nose & eat it. Masturbate quite a bit. Sometimes eat my own scabs.

 🤢🤢🤢
helpful (1) 
 This is me. Except for weed!
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 I can relate to one part. But eating ur snot and scabs 😨🤢
helpful (2) 
 Eating scabs? Oh f**k that is the most vile thing I've ever heard.
helpful (3) 

that my house is so messy :( - well, untidy, not dirty. But quite untidy

How crap my eating habits are.
I don't eat for sometimes days at a time then when I do eat I gorge on junk. My weight is very average and my kids always eat healthy, organic homemade food and everyone is anyways commenting on how healthy we eat. I feel like such a fake, I never eat anything healthy and i sure as hell can't do the 3 meals a day.

I'm married but unhappy and in love with another man. No affair or anything, just strong feelings for someone else.

 I could have written this two years ago...
Currently we are 4weeks into an affair and I can't give him this friend confessed his feelings and bang I'm addicted. So there's my secret.

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