Got an Answer?
There is nothing you can do to change her. As you said;she will just play the victim card. It will damage your kids, they already notice it. Get your family out into the community, join groups and sports, adopt an elderly person as a “grandparent” that way they have more people in their lives who will treat them with respect.
Laugh about it openly with your kids and make sure they know that it is her and not them that has the problem. If they think it affects you, they may feel upset/guilty/inadequate. If they know you think granny is a bit old and silly and can laugh about it, the pressure is taken off them and it is not something that has to affect them. Granny’s judgement is not about who they are, it’s a reflection of who she is. If you can teach your kids this, it will help them in all areas of their futures as well. Good luck.
Forget the family, seriously. Your kids will be better and happier for it thanks to you being better and happier. It’s an ideal to have a big family but it’s not the norm. I cut my mum and sister out years ago and I am sooo much happier for it it, oh my gosh! Imagining them in my life gives me a mild aneurism now, yiu stand up for what you believe and your kids will understand it one day. Comparing to the ideal or others is a the quickest way to unhappiness x
My mum is the same, we just see grandma and cousins separately. She can't treat my kids like second best that way.