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What do you consider crossing the line?

Are flirty texts between willing coworkers wrong when one is married?

Or do you consider words just words?


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Answers (8)

They're absolutely wrong. If you wouldn't willingly do something in front of your spouse you shouldn't be doing it.

 Perfect answer. If you’re fine with it all being public knowledge (partner, work colleagues etc) then it is probably harmless. If it is to be kept secret, then there is a line that has been crossed.
helpful (1) 
 OP, it’s pretty public. This make is flirty with everyone.
helpful (0) 

I think it’s wrong. I text my male colleagues about work, that’s it, because texting is like talking. If it went anywhere else I would be shocked and tell them it’s not on.

Ahhh feels so good tho!! Still do not done too much, lots of kissing, cuddles & he’s wanked onto my chest twice now !
He’s gone down on me but I couldn’t quite get there, next time !!

Line was def crosses last night after our work Xmas party; I don’t even feel bad..
Bit tipsy, got an Uber to his house & fooled around for a few hrs. Kissing, cuddling, back scratches, most fun I’ve had in years. I’m such a shitbag

 Your not a shitbag your human. Who wouldn’t want that?
helpful (2) 
 Maybe he's married?
helpful (0) 
 He is married, it says so in the question at the top.
helpful (0) 
 Yep, you are a shitbag ...... at least you acknowledge it.

When you're in a relationship into the future, you'll always wonder/ worry what your partner will get up to when they're out on their own .... as you've just done. It'll break your heart, especially if you thought your partner was the one & you loved them deeply.

helpful (1) 
 He’s not married, I’m married, the female OP. Yep I’m a shitbag, I know that. He’s very single, available, whatever.
helpful (0) 
 Is it something you both might pursue long term, or are you hoping to stay in your marriage?
helpful (0) 
 Doubtful it’s long term however we’re pretty close & have a weird connection. We really just enjoy each other’s company with cuddles thrown in. I’ve no idea why or how but he gives me a sense of fun & freedom I don’t get at home.

Very aware it’s wrong yet feels so right 😔

helpful (1) 
 The reason he gives you the feelings of fun and freedom is you have no shared responsibilities. If the leaking tap/upset children/broken down car at home doesn't get fixed frustration levels rise within your household/marriage. Your relationship with your coworker doesn't have any of these responsibilities attached to it so all he needs to do is send some (dopamine inducing) text messages and he's already winning at your brain associating him with fun and freedom.

Once you start to add kissing and other physical touch into the mix you both start producing the bonding hormone oxytocin which snowballs the level of attraction.

Hormones are intoxicating so I always think it is useful to understand how they are driving our behaviour.

Truly wishing you the best with this.

helpful (3) 
 OP here; that’s the best answer, ty.
We do have shared responsibilities at work in an extremely high stress job but I completely understand it’s not the same.

It may just fizzle out to being good mates, as our rules of engagement are clear, mates first & anything to jeopardise that will be dumped.

helpful (1) 

Wrong. Husband sent messages to workmate. I will never trust him again or love him the same as before.

 What message?
helpful (0) 

It really depends. Some people are naturally flirty and it has no meaning. But if the flirting is a preclude to something most and the married person has intent to take it further then of course it’s crossing a line.

 I agree. Get a couple of drinking in me & i'm a little flirty (i think most people are) but i don't want to bone anyone except my husband.
helpful (0) 

OP, the line has turned into an etch a sketch, I wanna f**k him 🤦🏻‍♀️