Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Anyone have a really hot wife but somehow you lost attraction for them?

In my opinion my wife is very sexy men are always checking her out gets annoying so it makes me feel like I have it good but then I find myself not wanting sex much with her unless I’m super horny. We have had a really hard marriage and I think a lot of the nasty toxic fighting has left me feeling some way for her. It’s like I can’t find happiness and stability. I find myself being more attractive to other women men would probably never go after. I would never cheat but it’s a struggle I can’t seem to get over.


Got an Answer?

Answers (9)

Perhaps you have grown up and realise there is more to a relationship than a nice rack?

  true true true!
helpful (0) 

Because the other men are looking at your hot wife as just that HOT a little eye candy! While you can acknowledge her “sexy” appearance you also get the whole package; arguing, fighting, silent treatment, attitude, mood swings, laziness just to name a few. Probably alot of resentment built up from existing or previous marriage issues 🤷🏻‍♀️

If she is ‘hot’ like you say, then of course other men will find her to be ‘hot’ too. I think the reason why you are looking at women you believe other men wouldn’t find attractive is because you’re jealous and you have trust issues. If you trust her, then other men checking her out wouldn’t bother you in the slightest.

I think it’s all about how much you put on display actually. If I go out in a mini skirt, I get checked out. If I go out in jeans and a jumper, I don’t really get checked out. Same face, hair and make up both times, the only difference is how much skin is on show. Men are very visual. I think they pay attention to women’s bodies, so if your wife shows some cleavage or legs, she’ll get checked out, it’s not necessarily indicative of someone being super hot though.

 I don’t find this at all. I get more attention in my trackies with just a bit of bb cream, mascara and a messy bun than when I have everything “on show” and full make up done.
helpful (0) 
 It’s not about having a full face of make up on, it’s about showing skin. When you show skin, men look.
helpful (2) 
 OP of top comment here. I never have ‘everything on show’ (no prob with ppl who do, it’s just not me). I also don’t wear much make up. However, I have noticed a clear difference, when I wear more revealing clothing I get more male attention (I.e., a skirt or dress vs. jeans and jumper). That is my experience and plenty of my gfs have said the same. Men look, it’s ok it’s just human nature.
helpful (1) 
 I doubt anyone is checking trackies out 😂😂😂
helpful (2) 
 ^Depends on location... gym or parkrun, yeah they might be.
helpful (0) 
 Yeah, nah. No one thinks trackies are sexy.
helpful (0) 
  actually maybe trackies ARE sexy, depends on your postcode 😂
helpful (1) 
 Maybe you’d check leggings out, but saggy, daggy, trackies - I think not 😂
helpful (0) 

So are you a sex god then yourself, because you dont sound very respectful of women in general. 'other women men would probably never go after'?????..... seriously?

 ^OMG! This 100% Well said 👍🏻
helpful (1) 

There is a lot here that seems to be going on. Sounds like you have some resentment towards your wife, especially her looks which she can’t control. It also sounds like you might have some self esteem issues which is why you need to validate yourself with saying you have a “hot” wife. There’s also a grass is greener issue. You look at women who you wouldn’t have found attractive once upon a time because you think the opposite of traditional beauty might make you happy in a way your wife won’t.

There's more to love then looks. Are you in love with her? You didn't mention that just talked about shallow things like looks & her being hot.

I think you have just discovered that personality plays a huge role in attraction.
Unfortunately if you cannot find aspects of her personality to fall in love with, it may go downhill from here.