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Did you expect your life to be like it is now ?

Sometimes I wish I had my first at 25 not 18
I am 25 today with a 7 year old
5 year old and 3 year old twins
I am planning to study registered nursing full time next year and cut back on my casual job to 12 hours a week instead 28 hours a week
My husband has a good job and wants me to be independent as much as I can
I won’t be receiving Austudy 😢
No more manicures or hairdresser every 6 weeks for wash cut colour blonde
Will be a brunette and colour hair at home and go to just cuts every 12 weeks


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Answers (11)

You're hardly living in poverty. Be grateful.

 Amen 🙏
helpful (0) 

You are fu****g lucky to be a stay at home mum. You can study online if you really want to. Kids will grow up soon, you can go back to work. Stop making yourself the victim.

No I never saw my life like this. Dependant on a man because I have no skills or job or money.
Raising more kids than I ever planned (I love them all and would never dream of adopting any out, but having this many was never EVER on my radar). Being trapped in the house because we have a car that's too small for our family, and I don't have a licence anyway.
I wanted to have a career. I wanted to go to uni. I wanted to be pretty with high heels, blonde hair, and a few friends, maybe a little apartment in the city close to work. Maybe a boyfriend or a little book of booty calls. Not overweight, married, miserable suburban housewife, washed up, and my hair is definitely NOT blonde, and my shoes are cheap joggers from Big W. Every time I put on a pair of jeans or trackies (I refused to wear them for years but now they're the warmest pants I can afford), I die a little inside. Whenever someone asks me "what's for dinner" I just want to cry.
I have no idea how to get out of this rut. I can't afford to study, and I can't afford the childcare costs to work a casual job. No one wants to hire me full time. And night work is out thanks to my husbands shitty attitude/schedule.
F**k this.

 Omg I feel this so much
helpful (1) 
 This sounds so much like my life too
helpful (1) 
 Why can’t you afford to study? I am studying part time - online/distance education and pay nothing! HECS? Are you in Australia?
helpful (1) 
 Hecs are a trap
helpful (0) 
 THeres convrepation
NO one made you fat except yourself

helpful (0) 
 Look on the bright side, no matter how shit life gets at least you aren't the idiot troll writing stupid comments on every bloody post. That would be a sad wasted life.

helpful (13) 
 I was told I'm not eligible for HECS. Or the TAFE fee help either. Maybe things have changed in the last year, in terms of eligibility, but I doubt it.
Since I wrote this, I thought about it and realised, hey my youngest will eventually be in school. So, that's a guaranteed time that things will change, but before then, who knows. You never know, maybe one of the full time jobs I've applied for will decide to hire me. Maybe I'll win the lotto (probably have to buy a ticket first though lol), maybe I'll become a movie star, or some blind old guy will want to be my sugar daddy for $1 million/month. Who knows. Maybe, I'll just stop feeling so down and out, and concentrate on making the most of these days.

helpful (3) 

helpful (9) 
helpful (0) 
 😂^^^^^^^^^ 9 up

helpful (0) 
 What a difference 3 months can make. Since I wrote this I've taken hold of my attitude and been making some positive changes to my situation. I spoke to my GP about anxiety and have since been referred to a psychologist. After 2 sessions with the psych I've learnt some healthy coping mechanisms.
I've been applying for apprenticeships and traineeships (and I make a great candidate thanks to workplace diversity!), and have been working on getting my licence. We've had good news on the car front, we're going car hunting next month for a 7+ seater. So, things are looking brighter for me.
Having all these kids is not a burden or even an inconvenience. It's a blessing. I remember who I am, and what I stand for. This comment was the dark before the dawn 👍

helpful (1) 
 Who would you cry over wearing jeans?? Also, why is being a bottle blonde so important to you? If you aren't happy with your life - do something about it!!!
helpful (0) 
 I am doing something about it. See my follow up comment above.
Also, being blonde to me was being pretty. Growing up, one of my aunts was so sophisticated and chic and whenever I got to visit her, she had blonde hair, and all her friends were blonde too. So, I grew up thinking it was so cool.
I'm a natural red head though, so I've been learning to accept that.
Also, the jeans, how many high powered career bi****s do you see in the Sydney CBD wearing jeans? Not many. Jeans just felt like one more nail in the coffin.

helpful (0) 
 Hey that's fantastic - I'm so happy for you, being in the darkness is not a nice place. Be proud of yourself!
I hope the next 3 months goes even better for you xo

helpful (1) 
 Who is the idiot typing the word convrepation? Wtf is that???? Is the troll trying to be funny but messed it up? How embarrassing 🤣
helpful (2) 
 So glad to hear things are on the up for you!! Woohoo to getting a license and a bigger car! Honestly you won’t know yourself.
Why not go to big w and buy some dressy / stretch slacks (if u k ow the type I mean) and a cool pair of shoes whatever you think is smart casual and then when you pull on the comfy pants & dressy shoes and you can feel like you are a desirable candidate for any career job!!
Go you girlfriend

helpful (1) 

I never thought of being bleach blonde as a measure of worth and success 😂

No I haven’t. I thought it would be me and the hubby growing old together and travelling. Now I’m a single Mum at 42. But I have come to love my life as it is!

 Go you! Great to see such a positive attitude
helpful (0) 

Do balayage blonde and buy purple toning shampoo, you’ll get heaps longer between colours. Cut own hair if it is long, easy enough to do- get a crea clip (look it up on YouTube)

I love that the main thing she's concerned about when considering a big life change is her hair colour maintenance, lol. At least she's got a plan in mind and a hairdresser lined up.

Nothing's ever as we want always, things change so quickly, try to be grateful for what you have. Sounds like what's coming up is a new phase, at the end of that phase you'll have a qualification, job security and more money. Your kids will be older you'll have more time. Alternatively, stick to your casual job, study later when all kids are at school. I pushed myself too much when the kids were really young to get back to work full time & regretted it. Being a mum is full on and a proper job that takes lots of time & energy. Can't relate to being a young mum like you, but on the plus side at least you're not constrained by age to have your family. I would have had another if I had time. & a supportive husband sounds lovely. Luck you!

Not at all and this is what I love about life. Who knows what tomorrow will hold..

No. After a broken relationship of 10 years found myself alone age 30. Thought it was too late to have kids. I drifted around lost with no direction in my life until I met my now husband. We have 2 beautiful kids and life is good. Didn’t think I’d ever have a family or happiness.

Sometimes you need to sacrifice the short term for the long term. I think you can manage just cuts while you study.

 IF you thought having a baby after 30 was too late i would hate to think what you think of 34 to 45
helpful (1) 
 OP of this reply. I thought that in my 20’s. I don’t think that now. I had my first baby when I was 39 and my last at 41. I wouldn’t recommend waiting that long, simply because fertility declines after you turn 35 and I got lucky having not issues..... but that’s just how life worked out for me. Not as I expected, but I don’t have regret how it did turn out at all.
helpful (1) 

Good for you studying. I would worry about material things. If you have the support of your husband you’re very lucky.