Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Are you a housewife or a working mum?

What made/want to be a housewife?
What made/want to be a working mum?

No one start mum bashing either, neither of the options are more superior then the other.

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (14)

I gave up work to be a housewife, and starting our family soon followed after. I thought that being a housewife and stay at home mum was going to be easy. And in a way it is. It's mentally exhausting, but I don't have to deal with office politics and customers and impressing bosses.

But I underestimated how mentally tough it is. It's been (for me, not necessarily for anyone else) slowly losing my sense of identity, losing my self worth, having to learn to anticipate my family's needs beforehand, learning to properly manage a household and my time effectively, and slowly learning to be my own cheerleader. I've also had to cope with losing my sense of independence which was really hard and something I'm trying to claw back.

I really admire mums who work. They look so glamorous, with noce hair and clacking heels. You go ladies! I think they must be incredibly organised and have such amazing stamina. At least when I get really exhausted at around 1pm, I can rig it up for a nap. The thought of going back to the office or back to retail is daunting. I've been applying for jobs for the last 3 years with no luck. But one day, I'll be back in the workforce and hopefully be able to help my husband support our family financially.

 You sound like a lovely person. I bet you are a great Mum! xx
helpful (4) 
 I think so many women can really resonate with you!! It’s so much harder than anyone can ever say and the thing is no one is brutally honest about the struggles of parenthood and nothing prepares you. I too think it will be crazy hard to go back to work but I honestly believe, maybe you haven’t been successful in getting jobs as you aren’t truly ready? And I say that in a nice way.
Maybe when you are ready things will line up, or maybe the right job hasn’t come up for you yet.

helpful (1) 

I work 50 hours a week out of the house and I feel like I still do everything I did as a stay at home mum, I just have way less time and energy to get it done and I miss so much now. I know it can feel mundane staying home with your babies but I really wish I'd have realised how lucky I was.

I am not one thing. I am many different things. I've been each of these & both at the same time. Why do we feel the need to categorize each other?

I work, I don’t like the idea of not being independent. I worked part time when the kids were young. My kids are teens now and secretly proud I have my own career. I feel like I am more relevant and lead an interesting life with a job.

I was a house wife for 5 years (and a SAHM) and it sent me mad! Im a worker. I love to work. I didn't enjoy being at home everyday. So now I work 4 days a week while my girls are in school.

OP She doesn’t need to stay home for her to be a good mum and have children?
Her children are in school so instead of doing something she doesn’t want to do everyday she goes to work which not only does it support her girls but also Great for her mental health.
🙂

helpful (3) 
 Thankyou op. I did stay home when they were home but as soon as they were in school I was straight back to work!! We're TTC #3 and I've already said to my work when he/she is 1 I will come back 2 days a week. The 2 days hubby is at home. Judge me all you like. I don't care haha
helpful (4) 
 I work school hours too its awesome. 3 kids in primary school see them the same amount of time as someone who doesn't work but not stressed about money
helpful (0) 

Working, because I have a family to provide for. I like working and contributing to society as well.

I do both. Work 2 full days and home with my girls the rest of the time.

I work 9 til 3 Monday thru Friday. Works great as no need for before or after school care. But I am also the housewife. Hubby is hopeless around the house (can thank the mil for that!) so I do all that too. So between work, kids sports and the house I'm fair buggered all the time!

Single mum on the dole with 5 kids and want 3 more

OP Happy for you. :)
helpful (0) 
 Maybe you should think long term about how much all those kids will inevitably cost you that you wont be able to get help from centrelink with for example high school is well over $3000 for each kid every year. I love that you are able to have more than one kid good for you but also start to think about long term here, the gov will not continue to support you forever, so maybe start looking for work
helpful (1) 
 Im not judging, but I have 4 and work full time and can barely afford them. I could not afford teenagers on centrelink I don't think.
Although public highschool only about $900 each not including booklists etc, and primary school still only $40 a year!

helpful (0) 

I’m both. Currently on maternity leave but prior to having this baby I was only working one day a week and was a stay at home mum/housewife the other 6 days.

Im a single full time carer, full time student at night and work casual. Busy busy and yes its pay check to pay check. But once i finish studying hopefully we can actually live more and not just survive.

I always worked at least part-time casual. Up until 5 months ago i had 2 casual jobs but both business have closed down. My husband earns a very good salary and goes away a lot. With his work, 2 kids, where we live, It's hard for me to work. I don't need to financially, but i do enjoy working. With hubbys job though i need to hold the fort with EVERYTHING else - house, kids, pets, bills, organising etc etc, etc I'm always busy

I’m a SAHM but I am looking to get back in the workforce part time. We are lucky enough that I haven’t needed to work and we don’t qualify for anything from Centrelink but I feel it is time to go back and start contributing monetarily to our family.