Boyfriend of 10 years cheated on me with a girl on SnapChat.
Answered 4 years ago
Boyfriend of 10 years talked to a girl on SnapChat. All he did was “woo” her and jack off to her pictures. He never sent her any inappropriate pictures. (I saw EVERYTHING) In the meantime I’m dealing with a 3 year old and newborn. They never met up in person, never bought her anything, and if they talked on the phone it was through SnapChat. She didn’t fully know his identity. I am broken, and I never thought he would do this. He says he dealt with anger the wrong way. (I’ve had a history of leaving him, coming back to him, last time I left I slept with a guy.) I came clean before he took me back but he says everything ate at him for all these years and just made the stupidest mistake because he loves me so crazy much which I know he does. He has shown me in so many ways. How can I get past this?
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If you continue with this relationship you're going to be sad and sorry girl.
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If you two have a history of breaking up and getting back together then some couples counseling may help you work constructively on the issues that you two keep struggling with. You say you leave him, but I assume there's a reason (or more than one), so having a trained third party help you both (both!) would be helpful.
From my experience (husband was doing similar stuff to your partner, but I hadn't left and slept with anyone, but his initial response to being caught was to say he thought I was cheating 🙄) it is really, really hard to get past this. Ten years on I still think about it and get the occasional pangs of suspicion/worry, the desire to snoop. For years after I would get so angry and upset when I thought about it, and would bring it up with him when I needed to. He fucked up, I can talk about it when I need to, but I tried not to use it as a weapon.
I chose to stay because his fuck-up didn't wipe out our entire relationship, I still loved him and wanted to be with him. I like the life we have so I'm glad I stayed, but damn it was hard. I also kept our situation secret from everyone because I didn't want my family judging him(or judging me for staying), that also made it hard to get through on my own. I can't necessarily endorse this path because of how alone I felt, but I'm glad that my parents and siblings don't look at him and think about it.
This isn’t him just wanking over porn this is a real person and I would say this is cheating.
You left him and slept with someone that’s fine, he bloody showing his pickle while you are in a relationship!
Look I do think you can get through it possibly but he needs to take accountability and I would monitor his phone.
I wish you all the best I’m sorry this happened to you ❤️❤️