Daughter 9 still showers with older brother 12
Answered 4 months ago
So I’m a little concerned.
I have two step children aged 9 girl and 12 (13 in a couple months) boy. We have a great relationship and they spend 5 nights a fortnight with us.
Recently the girl mentioned that the mother still makes her shower with the older brother. Not in the same shower but certainly naked together in the bathroom etc showering one after the other.
I have my own kids who are quite a bit older. Whilst we aren’t hung up on nudity or body issues I have always taught them their body is their own and other people may not be comfortable with nudity so cover it up and when showering close the bathroom door etc. I have always made the kids shower separately whilst with us so they can have privacy.
Hearing about the situation at their mums was concerning to me. My step son is nearly a teenager and is starting to go through puberty. I just dont think it’s appropriate for a young girl to be naked around a nearly teen boy ... brother/friend/whatever.
Should this be bought up as inappropriate?
Have an answer?
how you say it.
I thought I might of been over reacting but I really just thought that’s not really ok at their ages. They aren’t babies or toddlers having a bath together to save mum time. They are literally old enough to run their own showers and shower alone, so I am not sure what is going through the mums mind.
You are right that it is inappropriate for their ages and you aren’t overreacting. How do they feel about it?
I feel if they were blending they should move to a space that incorporates all the kids or at least make a space for his children and not one where brother and sister are sharing a bed. It’s been 7 months of this so far and that does bother the sister who doesn’t want to sleep with her brother.
So I don’t know. I don’t think it’s my place to say anything but partner has zero relationship with ex wife. Refuses to speak to her. Doesn’t acknowledge her emails. Only responds if it is absolutely necessary but has blocked her numbers and bought a phone especially for the kids to ring her when they are here that gets turned off when they aren’t. And look he has his reasons but I actually think this is something that needs to be addressed.
My kids shared a bed until my daughter was about 8 and then decided she hated her brother and that was the end of it. And as for showering etc it probably stopped about the same time as she felt she wanted more privacy much to her little brothers dismay 😂
But all my kids still walk into the bathroom while I'm showering to discuss things or ask questions and they are 15/14 now! Haha
However.... Someone needs to bring it up though if the step kids are uncomfortable. Such an awkward situation if parents aren't on good terms so I don't know how you do it without stepping on toes. 😔
Step son will definitely be hitting puberty soon and so will step daughter.. They might want to keep their changes and bodies to themselves then!