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Daughter 9 still showers with older brother 12

Answered 4 months ago

So I’m a little concerned.
I have two step children aged 9 girl and 12 (13 in a couple months) boy. We have a great relationship and they spend 5 nights a fortnight with us.
Recently the girl mentioned that the mother still makes her shower with the older brother. Not in the same shower but certainly naked together in the bathroom etc showering one after the other.

I have my own kids who are quite a bit older. Whilst we aren’t hung up on nudity or body issues I have always taught them their body is their own and other people may not be comfortable with nudity so cover it up and when showering close the bathroom door etc. I have always made the kids shower separately whilst with us so they can have privacy.

Hearing about the situation at their mums was concerning to me. My step son is nearly a teenager and is starting to go through puberty. I just dont think it’s appropriate for a young girl to be naked around a nearly teen boy ... brother/friend/whatever.

Should this be bought up as inappropriate?


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ANSWER
4 months ago
yea lol

ANSWER
8 months ago
Stop making a drama out of nothing. They’re kids.

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REPLY
5 months ago
Please be baren

ANSWER
8 months ago
Not appropriate, end of story! Too old to be seeing one another naked. Don’t care what anyone else says. Plus, sounds like the 9 year old is uncomfortable with it. Speak with her and let her bring it up to her mom, then talk with her to see if it changed. If not speak with the mother and husband. Done.

ANSWER
8 months ago
Call cps not ok

ANSWER
12 months ago
My sister in law baths with her son aged 8

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REPLY
12 months ago
That’s not cool. Why would an adult bathe with a child that old?

REPLY
12 months ago
Please! I still do with my 10 & 12 year old, if I’m in the bath they often ask to get in too. What’s the big deal?? It’s not sexual & naked bodies aren’t shameful so get over it.

REPLY
12 months ago
No body hang ups here just don’t thing bathing with your older kids is all that great.

REPLY
12 months ago
Agree but only because they take up all the space & won’t stop talking.

REPLY
8 months ago
While I agree bodies aren't shamefuk, at that age young bodies are developing and children need to have their privacy. Im sorry but I tjink its not appropriate to bath all together at that age.

REPLY
8 months ago
I think the children usually decide for themselves when they feel awkward or want their privacy, that’s certainly how it went with my daughter.

ANSWER
8 months ago
I would think it too old to share BUT if the 2 kids aren’t bothered by it, I wouldn’t get too fussed. Speak to your husband about it. The only really concerning thing is if they’re ‘forced’ to share a shower.

ANSWER
8 months ago
The words makes her are a little concerning, maybe a chat is in need but be very careful what you say and
how you say it.

ANSWER
8 months ago
Abit to old for that I'd say . Around 5 yrs or younger is fine in my opinion

ANSWER
11 months ago
Ask your husband, surely he should understand the dynamics with his own kids?

ANSWER
12 months ago
How does your husband feel about it? They're his kids after all.

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REPLY
11 months ago
Prob doesnt understand how its a big issue men dont think that way

ANSWER
11 months ago
Contact child protection its not right at all.

ANSWER
12 months ago
It’s a bit odd. My kids would never have done that at that age. In fact, not ever!

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REPLY
12 months ago
Is that because you’ve made nudity a bad thing with them?

ANSWER
12 months ago
I find it highly inappropriate. My 10 and 8 year old sons don’t even shower together. My 10 year old likes his privacy. Neither would even dream of being in the bathroom with my 13 year old daughter either.

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REPLY
12 months ago
Totally understand some kids are more privacy driven. I’ve got a 17 year old that towels up so much he is a Mummy out of the bathroom and my 16 year old isn’t bothered if the door is open (the bathroom is sort of out of the way in this house so not really a drama) - really had to drive it home to him that door needed to be closed when we blended the family.

I thought I might of been over reacting but I really just thought that’s not really ok at their ages. They aren’t babies or toddlers having a bath together to save mum time. They are literally old enough to run their own showers and shower alone, so I am not sure what is going through the mums mind.

REPLY
12 months ago
😂 I can’t stop laughing at the 17 year old mummy.

You are right that it is inappropriate for their ages and you aren’t overreacting. How do they feel about it?

REPLY
12 months ago
It doesn’t bother them. But there are other things going on in that house that really aren’t great. The boyfriend has just moved in and his kids, 3 of them, stay every other weekend. Boy and girl are now sharing a bed to make room for these kids every other week. They have been made to sleep on the floor in the lounge as a “sleepover”. And if it was a once off it wouldn’t be a thing but this is every other weekend.
I feel if they were blending they should move to a space that incorporates all the kids or at least make a space for his children and not one where brother and sister are sharing a bed. It’s been 7 months of this so far and that does bother the sister who doesn’t want to sleep with her brother.

So I don’t know. I don’t think it’s my place to say anything but partner has zero relationship with ex wife. Refuses to speak to her. Doesn’t acknowledge her emails. Only responds if it is absolutely necessary but has blocked her numbers and bought a phone especially for the kids to ring her when they are here that gets turned off when they aren’t. And look he has his reasons but I actually think this is something that needs to be addressed.

REPLY
12 months ago
Sorry, I don't feel the bathroom or bed are appropriate for them to share. If they were smaller it wouldn't be a big deal but the boy is in high school if I am correct? A big no from me and I think you are within your rights to say something.

REPLY
12 months ago
I think it becomes inappropriate when she doesn't want to do it anymore.
My kids shared a bed until my daughter was about 8 and then decided she hated her brother and that was the end of it. And as for showering etc it probably stopped about the same time as she felt she wanted more privacy much to her little brothers dismay 😂
But all my kids still walk into the bathroom while I'm showering to discuss things or ask questions and they are 15/14 now! Haha

However.... Someone needs to bring it up though if the step kids are uncomfortable. Such an awkward situation if parents aren't on good terms so I don't know how you do it without stepping on toes. 😔
Step son will definitely be hitting puberty soon and so will step daughter.. They might want to keep their changes and bodies to themselves then!