Your daughter is a growing child. She doesn’t know what she wants, her body isn’t fully developed neither has her brain. She will most likely change her mind. She might even be saying that for attention. There is nothing wrong with being transgender but people need to stop encouraging the gender neutral bullshit children who are confused or seeking attention.

Don’t affirm it, she will grow out of it.

I had two older brothers and was a Tom boy. Once I hit puberty I changed but I have work in a male dominated industry and am still very feminine. Sorry I don’t believe in one gender or another so gender swapping or trans to me is wrong, I believe it is fluid so you should love the body you have.

Your child needs a psychologist

This was my 7 year old for 12 plus months, she is almost nine and wants a makeup kit for Christmas and a bassinet for her doll. Oh and a voucher to go get a mani and pedicure. She no longer asks people to call her by her male name. I never did call her by that, I told her that I chose her name and if she wants to change it she can make it whatever she wants when she is 18.
She still prefers boyish cloths and shorter hair and rocks a tuxedo

Transgender is the new black.
I'm so over this crap.

What do you do? Nothing. Don’t correct her, don’t make a big deal out of it. She might be trans, she might not. Impossible to know at her age. But letting her know you aren’t happy will just bring about shame.

It concerns me more you are more worried about how to tell family members.

It’s only natural to grieve the child you thought you were going to have but it isn’t fair for you to put that on your child. First step would be to see a psychologist separately and as a family to help get your head around all the new changes. You need to figure out if this is what your child really wants and do whatever you need to do to support them. I can understand your reservations about telling family, if it was one of my children that would be my biggest worry too. The best you can do is tell them and let them know they will either support your child/keep their mouths shut around your family or you will have to cut them out of their life.