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How to help child make friends?

Answered 5 years ago

Last year my child made a friend who was his bestie, a falling out occurred and his bestie decided he liked another kid (who my child didn't) better. Normally is fine and am aware that my child needs to learn these things, but these children then excluded my son from the circle of friends which resulted in numerous incidents and my son lashing out. Things settled for a while but we are now in 2nd year of this school and yet to find any friends - not helped by his behaviour which still occurs. We are now at a point that I feel when any incidents occur the school just has him black marked and take no interest in the events leading up to him loosing it. We were told at one point that the other kid wouldn't do such a thing, yet hubby had seen the child taunting my son for a reaction. I know my child is no angel so what can I do to improve situation? We discuss suitable behaviour and responses but at 8 years old it goes out the window when he gets mad. Have even considered changing schools


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ANSWER
5 years ago
Are there other classes your son could go into? My daughter changed classes and has made some great friends.
As a pp said make an appointment with the teacher and look at strategies to help your son.
If that doesn't work then I would look at changing schools.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Do you do play dates with other kids from school? It can help foster a one on one relationship with the other kids.

ANSWER
5 years ago
What about scouts? What about kids youth groups? children can form friendships in these places and even a friend that's not at school with you is a good start! Even better if they make friendships and discover the child goes to their school!

ANSWER
5 years ago
First of all, a big hug to you and your son. My son is an outlier at school due to behavioral issues. We do A LOT of extracurriculars. He does on or 2 sports per season and tries other clubs like dance, art, fighting, boradcast, cooking, music, foreign language... these outside school activities have allowed him to try on different versions of himself and make friends. The difficult part is it's tougher to arrange hangouts than just picking an extra kid up at school, but it helped him socialize in peer settings so school isn't the nightmare it was. Until he could manage his own behaviours we had practice friends (mostly kids of my old friends and cousins we visit a few times a year). These playdates helped him understand social situations in a comfort zone, with me nearby and a few kids who had to be nice for a few hours. He's got a long list of good friends now, and while he still doesn't fit in as well at school, the behaviors have all but stopped

ANSWER
5 years ago
Seriously sports is key for a boy to make good friends in primary school, put him in alll the sports!

ANSWER
5 years ago
My son was in your sons predicament. it is hard as a parent watching them go through it. Haven you spoken to your classroom teacher. Are they aware of what is going on and the dynamics of the group? I would go in and and say my son has been acting out lately and he has finally told us that this is the reason, that he has no friends and finding it difficult. Make it more about your kid then blaming the other kids and you should be able to com up eith a plan to help him. Is he is the same class as his former friends, if so then consider moving class. Also join him up to clubs and things outside of school. They are a good way to meet new kids and make new friends and build up self esteem. Good luck.

Replies

REPLY
5 years ago
This is an excellent response. Make the conversation about your son and how to help him. Don’t place blame on other kids as that will look like you think your son is not the problem ( and probably every teacher hears that) . Acknowledge your sons behaviour and make it all about helping him. Good luck. Oh, and definately get him into a sporting team.

ANSWER
5 years ago
What is at the core of the acting out behaviour? Maybe the resolution of that means other kids want to be friends with him. Also, does he have friends outside of school? Is he involved sports? Maybe a team sport would help him bond with his peers.