How Sensitive Are We?

The motherhood gig has opened my eyes to a whole new world. It has made me far more conscious of my decisions, and bought to my attention just how opinionated we, as women and mothers, can be. A friend recently spoke about feeling judged for the food choices she made with regards to her two year old son. She packs him a lunch for day care, and felt as though people were commenting on the foods she provided. And I’m positive she isn’t alone in this – how many times have we felt the need to explain or defend a specific choice we’ve made with regards to our children?

I for one, breast feed and use cloth nappies. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not out of any sense of moral righteousness, I do it for personal benefit. I breast feed because honestly, it’s more convenient. I’m spectacularly lazy and I like my sleep, and the thought of waking up and sterilising and warming bottles leaves me cold. It’s much preferable for me, to lay in bed and pop bub on the breast.

Cloth nappies aren’t used out of any sense of environmental duty, I simply find them more convenient than worrying about purchasing disposables. This being said, I used disposables when my son was a newborn and his cloth nappies were too large. A friend brought over boxes of disposables that her daughter had outgrown. She was so quick to defend the fact that a few boxes were of a ‘no name’ brand. I didn’t care in the slightest – but she felt as though she needed to justify why she had purchased them.

And I have noticed recently that as a mother I find myself unnecessarily defending my choices, being so fearful of judgement from other parties. I am frequently asked when I will stop breast feeding. I have no idea.. My standard response – “When he gets his drivers licence!”

When will my son sleep in a cot in his own room as opposed to a bassinet next to our bed? I have no idea. When will I go back to work? Not a clue. What will I feed him when he’s old enough for something other than Farex? When will I feed him solids? Why am I feeding him solids at four months once a day instead of waiting the recommended six months before introducing food? Because I can, and I did, and it worked for us.

We all make decisions for our children that we feel are in their best interests, or decisions that work best for our family, and yet we are all called upon to defend them at one time or another. I have found myself from time to time judging other parents for their choices. Why? Their choices don’t affect me and it’s neither my business nor my prerogative to pass judgment on them. And sometimes we often feel most judged by our closest of family and friends. Child raising is different for every one, so who are we to question another parent’s choices?

I’m endeavouring to grow a thicker skin. To not feel the need to justify my choices, or defend the perceived nobility of my decisions. Having said that, I also need to work on sending out the same respect to other parents.

What can I say? It’s a work in progress.

By Alli Weiland

Alli is a Mummy of Fletchy Poo who is the brightest new joy in his whole families life.