12 Tips on How to be a Good Stepmother

9. Don’t Make Them Jealous Of Your Couple Time

You and your partner are in a relationship, and that’s really important. But if your stepchildren have just recently come out of a situation where they saw their dad all the time without distraction, there’s going to be an adjustment period. This is especially true if your partner was a full-time single parent. So do yourself a favour and don’t brag about the time you spent with their dad, or all the things you did. Keep it to yourself, and save the romance.

10. Do Make Time For Them To Spend With Just Dad

Of course, your stepchildren will encroach on time you spend with your partner. That’s what parenting is all about. As a stepmum, it’s important to recognise that although you have a place in their lives, their bio-parents occupy a higher pedestal emotionally. It’s instinct. So make sure that you give them some one-on-one time to spend with your partner where you take a step back. Use this time to enjoy a moment alone with yourself, or with your own kids.

11. Don’t Always Be The Bearer Of Bad News

The idea of a wicked stepmother is very present in our culture, and if your stepchild has even seen a Disney movie they’ll be well aware of how stepmothers act. You can try to prove them wrong, but one step out of place often means they’re quick to judge. This isn’t helped if you’re always the one disciplining them, or being the bearer of bad news. For example, if it’s always you telling them to clean up, or informing them they can’t do something they’ve been looking forward to, it makes it hard for them to like you. Balance this with your partner, and make sure they know it’s a message from both of you, not just an evil stepmother thing.

12. Do Talk To Your Partner About Communication and Parenting Styles

It’s important when it comes to raising stepchildren to make sure all those involved are on the same page. Obviously you can’t guarantee what your partner’s ex will do, but you can make sure that both you and your partner work as a team when it comes to parenting. This also helps to avoid the evil stepmother reputation. Just imagine if you tell your stepchild they can’t have a cookie, only for your partner to tell them they can. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. Be clear with your partner about what you need as a stepmother, and present a united front.

Do you think you’re a good stepmum?