50 Hilarious Things You’d Never Thought You’d Say to Your Kids

About toilets and poo…

“Don’t wipe poo on your face.”

“Pooey nappies are not hats… DONT EAT IT!!!”

“Please do not lick the toilet seat- YUCK.”

“No, I don’t need you to wipe my bottom, thanks.”

“Why are you standing in the toilet bowl?!”

“No, you can not jump off the trampoline into that manure.”

“Please stop cleaning the toilet with my hairbrush!”

“Did you flush your pants again?”

“No, Mummy doesn’t want to sing and do the actions to ‘GA LOOMP Went The Little Green Frog’ whilst I’m on the toilet!”

About mummies and daddies…

“No, you cannot crawl back into my stomach.”

“Can you pick your father up from the pub?”

“Mummy does not wear nappies. They are pads for my period.”

“No, boys can’t get pregnant.”

“I’m banning you from saying “Mummy” for 15 minutes!”

“No, Mummies don’t grow up to be Daddies.”

More hilarious random things parents say to their kids, next!