Is It Ok For Parents To Kiss Their Kids On The Lips?

When I was a child, I have distinct memories of kissing both of my parents on the lips. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure it was intentional; I’ve always had a pretty terrible sense of direction.

Still never in my entire life did I see something wrong with those kisses, something inappropriate about them. So imagine my surprise when just recently I read a very vocal opinion from a child psychologist Dr. Charlotte Reznick. She says that not only is it not a good idea for parents to kiss their children on the lips, but it’s actually wrong.

Yep, it’s wrong.

According to the good doctor, kissing on the lips is a slippery slope into God knows what other nightmares.

“If you start kissing your kids on the lips, when do you stop?’ she asked. ‘As a child gets to four or five or six and their sexual awareness develops, the kiss on the lips can be stimulating to them.”

Stimulating?! Holy moly, I’m pretty sure that never factored into my brain as a child or my parents’ brains. Kids are full of love, overflowing with it. If you’re the kind of kid I was, literally and figuratively overflowing from the space I occupied with my chubby lovin’, you couldn’t keep me away. I loved nothing more than to plant a big ol’ sloppy kiss on just about anyone who would put up with me. My parents, my brothers, my wrinkly nana, the dog. That’s just how it was.

So when did it all get so ‘wrong’?

An Argument AGAINST Kissing

Dr. Charlotte Reznick is a very vocal advocate against parents kissing their children on the lips. Reznick, the author of a book called ‘The Power Of Your Child’s Imagination’ says parents might be confusing their children by kissing them on the lips, saying the behaviour is sexual.

“Children thrive on being touched on their forehead, cheeks or hands. The lips are different because they have more nerve endings and are more sensitive to stimulation.

‘People don’t like to hear this but the lips are an erogenous zone and feel-good chemicals that are associated with sexual arousal – including serotonin and oxytocin – are released through lip-kissing.”

While other parents aren’t really thinking about the ‘sexual’ aspect of kissing, there are certainly those in our readership who wouldn’t consider kissing their children on the lips. A Stay At Home Mum reader, and Dad, anonymously gave this opinion:

“I am a very loving dad and I grew up in a family where cuddles and kisses were regular and heartfelt, however, on the lips for me is a step too far. Each to their own and if that is the way you show affection, great, it’s just not for me.”

Other SAHM readers noted that they didn’t kiss their children on the lips because of “hygiene reasons”, “coldsores”, and because of the culture they were raised in where that kind of affection just wasn’t displayed.

An Argument FOR Kissing

Of course, there are a lot of parents, and experts, who think that kissing your children on the lips is totally ok. One of the supporters of this kind of behaviour is Sydney psychologist Dr. Fiona Martin. Dr. Martin works out of the Sydney Child Psychology Centre, and absolutely disagrees with Dr. Reznick’s opinion on the ‘inappropriate nature’ of kissing between parents and children.

“It’s absurd really to think a parent kissing their child could be referred to as too sexual,’ she told Daily Mail Australia. “It’s normal and healthy to be affectionate to your children. It’s communicating to your child that you love them.”

Dr. Martin also noted that there were no psychological effects for children kissed on the lips by their parents, as the relationship is safe and trusting. Dr. Martin, along with many other child psychologists, believe that children grow out off this kind of affection when they are ready. One SAHM reader agreed, saying in a statement to us:

“I’m all for kissing your children on the lips, it’s not gross, it’s normal. I aim to teach my children the best that there is about love and respect within a family and if those gorgeous little beings want to kiss me on the lips, because that’s part of how they show love, then it’s more than ok.

Before I know it, they’re going to be 16, 6 feet tall and kissing me on top of my head and won’t even remember the days when they pretended they were puppies dogs, licking my face… I have asked for less of this dog licking, but what are you gonna do? They’re kids, little kids with big imaginations, and isn’t that what it’s all about?”

So where do you stand on the lip kissing front? Are you a shameless lip kisser, or more of a conservative cheek pecker?