13 Spunky Facts about Sperm

We all know that sperm is for making babies, it’s why men are put on this earth.

It’s why they have affairs, it’s why they do anything in life, males are hard-wired to deposit sperm into females and create life. It’s Mother Nature!

Aside from knowing that it comes from the male genitals and is important for making babies, there are still a lot of amazing things about sperm that many of us don’t know.

There would be no life without sperm. We are taught that and we respect that but did you know when sperm is not making babies, it’s a spy, a facial cleanser, a thief, antidepressant and even a smuggler.

Here are 13 spunky facts about sperm cumming your way.

1. Spermy Facial Creams

If we can turn a women’s placenta into face cream we can certainly do it with sperm. The desperate quest for a youthful look will have us trying any new and bizarre treatments on the market – and there is no shortage of Hollywood idiots willing to try anything to look better and younger than the rest. Enter Kim Kardashian…the vampire facial.

So there is this compound in semen called spermine, which has antioxidants known to smooth wrinkles, alleviate acne and can delay the aging process. Don’t bother asking lover boy for a pearl necklace – ask for it straight in your hands please.

Actually, you might pong a bit, stick to the bonafide facial cream. Spermine is in cosmetic creams and offered by swanky high-end spas to the tune of $250. Yes, expensive, however, I’m sure you can think of other ways to get it.

2. Sperm Is an Antidepressant for women

According to a study if you’re having unprotected sex you’re potentially chasing the blues away, as it is a great natural antidepressant. Semen has an antidepressant effect in women. There are apparently ‘mood altering’ chemicals in the semen leading up to its release, rather than the sex act itself.

3. Some People are Allergic to Seman

Unfortunately, for some sex can be a nightmare as there are women who suffer an allergic reaction to semen. It is known as seminal plasma hypersensitivity and can cause redness, swelling, itching and burning in the who who area. While it is rare, a woman’s body can hate sperm. How to have sex? Wear a condom. How to get pregnant? That is a question for the doctor.

4. Sperm Smuggling

This is a doozy. Palestinian women are forced to smuggle their husband’s sperm out of prison. Palestinian men who are serving time in Israeli prisons are not allowed conjugal visits with their wives and with the Palestinian culture strongly against women divorcing their husbands or seeking comfort from other men, their options for pregnancy is limited.

Using logic and stealth planning straight from a Hollywood movie some Palestinian women smuggled their husband’s semen out of jail, then used it to impregnate themselves through artificial insemination. According to research more than a dozen have given birth to healthy children conceived via smuggled semen.

5. Sperm is full of nutrients

It’s a wonder why we don’t eat it. It contains vitamin C, fructose, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, vitamin B12, zinc, nitrogen and calcium. That is one big semen smoothie right there. It also contains as much protein as an egg (chicken egg).

6. His sperm

The average size of a male load is half a teaspoon.

7. Sperm is always being made

Men never stop making semen, whereas women stop producing eggs.

8. Can’t swim straight

Most sperm can’t swim straight. Only one in five have the common sense to swim upstream with the rest just going around in circles.

9. Female and male sperm already determined

Sperm will either carry an X chromosome or Y chromosome.

10. Who’s fast and who’s strong?

Male sperm are fast swimmers while female sperm are stronger.

11. Dead or alive

Dead sperm can still fertilise an egg.

12. Behind closed doors

The more you ejaculate, the more it improves sperm quality. So guys, never feel bad about a little hand action. If anyone asks”¦you’re improving sperm quality (enough said).

13. Spying semen

British spies came up with an ingenious way to communicate in World War 1. Sperm writing, which was an effective invisible ink. The man who thought of it, Mansfield Cumming.

You could almost say semen is a secret weapon in health. Not just funny little tadpoles in a panic all trying to swim upstream to hit their target. Sperm is more than that, so next time you’re getting intimate with your man sneak a bit of his sperm, rub it on a zit and see what happens.

What other facts about sperm do you know?