5 Relationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Be Ignoring

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to try and justify or rationalise everything that your partner does, even when you think it’s not quite right.

After all, you care about them and you know they care about you as well.

Unfortunately, all too often, the behaviour that you’re putting aside is really behaviour you should be focusing on, because it is indicative of various ‘red flags’ in your relationship. These red flags are things that hint at, or downright show, things about your partner’s behaviour that you wouldn’t accept if you weren’t emotionally invested in them. Here are some ones to look out for.

If you do find that these red flags are present in your relationship, it might be time to talk to your partner about your concerns.

1. They’re Secretive And Lie

A good relationship is an honest one. We aren’t talking about radical honesty, where you tell the truth without considering the feelings of your partner. We’re talking about general honesty, where you’re happy to be open with your life, and happy to trust your partner with that information.

So, if you’ve noticed that you partner is really working to keep you out of aspects of their life, that might be a red flag indicating some kind of dishonesty. You don’t need to know everything, but they shouldn’t be actively working to disguise things from you. Of course, there is a difference between someone who is private and someone who is secretive. There’s no hard and fast rule though, so you’ll need to figure out where you and your partner stand based on what you know about them.

2. They Anger Quickly, And Rage Out

Anger is a human emotion, and everyone gets angry sometimes. They might have had a terrible day, or really been pushed to their personal limit. But it is important to look at the frequency and severity of your partner’s reactions, particularly anger.

If they anger very quickly, or tend to express their anger in ways that scare you i.e. yelling at you, throwing things and such, it’s something to keep an eye on. Remember there’s no reason for your partner to be yelling at you just because they’re frustrated, and using hurtful or insulting words is never ok.

3. They’re Way Too Possessive

Being interested in your partner’s life is the sign of a strong relationship, and it’s a good thing that your partner wants to know how your day went or what you did. But there is such a thing as too much. If your partner’s questions about your day are starting to feel more like an interrogation, they’re exhibiting signs of being overly possessive.

Intense question is often just one part of a series of behaviours that include ‘checking up on you’ at work or when you’re with your friends, arriving unannounced to places they know you will be, excessively calling and texting you, guilting you into staying in with them as much as possible and more. This possessive and obsessive behaviour is one major red flag for potential problems in the future, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

4. They Have Strong Double Standards

Double standards are always crummy, but they’re so widespread in our society that it’s easy to let them slip past you in your own relationship, even if they aren’t fair. Well, stop letting them slide past right now, because your partner’s reliance on double standards is a red flag and something that you should definitely talk about. What do we mean when we talk about double standards?

Well, maybe your partner doesn’t think it’s a big deal that they have lots of friends of the opposite sex, but they get jealous and angry when you do. Or perhaps they don’t see the problem with them doing a little harmless flirting, but they’d never let you do the same. It might even be something as simple as them expecting you to always do the cleaning or the laundry. Not on. If there are double standards in your relationship, deal with them now before they get out of control.

5. They Aren’t Willing To Find The Middle 

It’s a fact of life that you can’t always get what you want, and in a relationship, learning to compromise and accommodate your partner is a really important skill.

Sure, sometimes what you want will line up perfectly with the other person, but when it doesn’t, both partners need to learn to adjust their needs and wants to the situation at hand. However, if your partner never wants to change his stance or position, in things both small and large, this should draw your attention. A relationship is all about the give and take, but if you’re the only one giving, that’s not healthy or sustainable.

What relationship red flags do you look out for?