WARNING – NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
Okay Mummies and Gentlemen, let’s put away the serious faces for a moment and have a little fun. Being a parent is all about letting our guards down every once and a while and admitting that, yep, we aren’t perfect. So we’ve come up with some of the most common mummy stereotypes that we know and that you most likely encounter on a daily basis. So which one is most like you? And your friends? And your own mum? Don’t be shy. Put those claws away and have some fun! We can’t all be Posh Spice right?
So without further ado, here are our Top 10 Mummy Stereotypes That We All Know
She looks good, no matter what. She is usually wearing heels, oversized sunglasses and skinny jeans. Her lips are shiny and perfectly pouted. It looks like she just fell out of a Ralph Lauren advertisement and picked up two perfectly groomed kids along the way. To pull off this look you will need to spend a lot of time at appointments (hair, nails, etc.) and get up extra early. We also suggest not trying to pull this look off with a toddler – best reserved for older, cleaner, more controllable kids.
Captain of the Dag
Daggy mum is the opposite of Posh Spice. Apparel – tracky dacks and stained t-shirt; footwear – thongs or nothing. Bra – optional. Comfort is key. Sure, it’s fun to dress up in fancy outfits but school pickup or a trip to the shops to pick up tampons is not the place for it. Daggy Mum not only fronts the Dag Team, but she is also Captain of Multitasking and usually has a million other things on the go. Style suffers. Whatev.
The Earth Goddess
This mum comes with an aura of purple surrounding her. Get in close contact with her and you may feel more calm, more relaxed and more nurturing. Earth Mum is all about getting back to nature with woven wraps to wear bub; long flowing skirts and gladiator sandals. Her kids will be the ones with organic snacks in their lunch box and she will most likely have at least one, if not two, children still breastfed. You may or may not feel the urge to throw gummy bears at her head when she saunters passed.
She rocks up to school in tight gym shorts and new running shoes. She always has a spring in her step. After school drop off it’s off to Boxercise or Gym Fit then a quick stop at the organic health food store to grab some Acai Berries and Spirilina. She looks like a walking advert for Lorna Jane. She is tight. She is perky. And we all hate her. And, if you are her, then you are probably used to death stares at Kindy Gym.
Everything sucks when you’re a mum. Life belongs in the ‘too hard basket’. The kids make messes all day long; the husband doesn’t appreciate you; the dishes won’t wash themselves. Whinging on Facebook and to everyone you encounter in the shops is the best way to overcome these obstacles. You got to love this mum and feel sorry for her at the same time.
The “What the Hell” Mum
She is constantly going away for ‘girl’s trips.’ She is always out shopping. She has a cleaner. And she is always happy and stressfree. What the hell? How the hell does she do it? What’s her secret and how do I get some of it? You can’t help but envy this mum. And, again, if you are this mum, don’t be surprised if you get a handful of gummy bears thrown at you as well.
The Gossip Queen
Who had an accident in at the playground on Tuesday? What child scored the most goals during soccer on Saturday? Which husband and wife got in a domestic last weekend? Gossip Mum knows. And Gossip Mum isn’t afraid to share the news. Mastering the fine art of being Gossip Mum takes a lot of time and patience, and diligent research.
The “I Wish She Was My Mum” Mum
Freshly baked scones waiting for after school snack? An always clean house? A warmed towel ready after a bath? Themed sleepovers? Sound familiar? This is the Mum I wish I was. But, alas, I’m not. Some mums are just natural at it. Their cooking is always delicious; their arts and craft creations are amazing; and their house looks like it should be featured in Good Housekeeping. And, the “I Wish she Was My Mum” Mum is extra calming, extra sweet and extra nice too. She may make you want to abandon your own family and join hers.
You know, the mum that wants her kids to be perfect; her house to be spotless; her marriage to be amazing; and her life to be a success. She strives to be in complete control all the time and she is always goes above and beyond in every aspect of life. Her kids are the first to talk, the first to tie their shoes and the first to pass their driver’s test. To pull off this stereotype we highly recommend no children, no pets and no sleep. Ever.
The “Cool” Mum
We will finish off with the stereotype that I think all of us can relate to every once and a while or have met one. Some mums are effortlessly cool. And other mums are just not. The Cool Mum is so uncool that you have to just love her. Unless you are her kids. Then you are most likely overly embarrassed. The Cool Mum knows all the latest trends and slang but she just can’t quite pull it off. She will go above and beyond for her kids. Don’t be surprised if she shows up at the school dance wearing the same dress as her daughter. Matchy matchy.