Why I Won’t Agree With You Just Because You Have A Vag

One of the dumbest things I have read on the internet lately came from a couple of women doing the old “YAAB” (Youse Are All Bitches) routine, stamping their little feet saying that they were going to unlike a particular Facebook page (ours, meh).

They had bugs up their arses because they weren’t very happy that a post on SAHM stated, among other things, that it’s a bit gross when women cook up their placenta and make tacos with it and eat it.

Supposedly being icked out by such a thing means you are “Not Supporting Other Women” and this is a crime against the sisterhood.

Excuse me while I pick myself back up off the floor.

I didn’t realise that feminism was all about agreeing with everything other women say and do, 100%, no matter what, because we have vaginas in common and therefore are incapable of having different opinions. Having a vagina must also mean we have feeble little minds and aren’t capable of independent thought.

Men aren’t expected to agree with other men just because they all have dicks. So why should women have to follow a bullshit rule like this?

I’ve experienced this sort of blowback many times on things I’ve written for this website, and others, over the years. Fortunately, I have a thick skin and don’t particularly give a fuck about what a cohort of self-declared perfect human beings think of me and my very many flaws.

One time I had the old “Not Supporting Other Women” thing spat at me by women who didn’t like that I disagreed with something written by another female blogger. This woman had actually taken a swipe at second wives/stepmothers and told them that they needed to just suck it up and put up with any bullshit toxic behaviour dished out to them by their partner’s ex if she treats them badly. I didn’t see HER called out on what she was saying and accused of “Not Supporting Other Women”.

And I know why: because when you apply this bullshit logic, you get to do it selectively.

You’ll never be accused of “Not Supporting Other Women” by the ones who like to throw this around if your life circumstances don’t match up with theirs.

I’m generalising, but there is a particular subset of the internet parenting community who are extremely judgemental and feel it is okay to hang shit on women who are second wives, who work outside the home, who don’t enjoy spending every waking second playing with their children, who use electronic devices in the playground, who let their kids have screen time, who bottle feed their children, who use childcare. And so on.

But if anyone says “I think eating your placenta is gross” or “If you don’t immunise your children, you are an idiot who is endangering the lives of babies” or “I don’t care what David Avocado Wolfe says, medical science is a better option for curing your bacterial infection than sticking an onion in your sock” then you are “Not Supporting Other Women” and you are a monster! #SanctimummiesUnite

Here’s the thing: we women are a little more than half the population. It’s ridiculous to think that we will see eye-to-eye on absolutely everything just because we’re all women.

Where do you draw the line? If I am supposed to support all women in their choices, do I support the women who leave their children in the care of some deadshit boyfriend who assaults/kills them and then stand by the arsehole and help to cover it up?

Do I stand by the women who kill their own children? Do I say “you go girl!” to the toxic mothers who alienate their children from their fathers and poison their brains? Do I give a big thumbs up to every single woman who lies, cheats and steals because she has a vag, so must, therefore, by default, be a top human being?

Or because I’m a unique individual, can I just have my own morals and values? Can I have my own opinion?

Feminism is meant to be about equality. Don’t play some bullshit sisterhood card to try to shut down arguments from those you disagree with. You want to silence women because they are women. Yes, that’s what you are doing when you believe that women should just blindly agree with/support the actions of all other women… that makes you just as misogynistic as everything you are pretending to be standing up to.

By all means, you can disagree. It doesn’t mean you’re correct. It doesn’t mean the other person is either. Sometimes, two opinions/beliefs are valid and can co-exist. If you really can’t cope with it, maybe opt out of the internet. Threatening to unlike a page upsets nobody…

As a woman, I am entitled to my own opinions and beliefs. And you’re entitled to yours.