By Tracy HardyFor a lot of women, mother’s group is a true blessing in disguise and they wouldn’t survive being a new mum with out it.
But for others, the experience is very different, at times even negative and downright nasty.
How Mother’s Groups Works
How you get assigned to a mother’s group
In many cases, hospitals assign new mothers to a group to meet up with in the local area. This happens in the first few weeks after your baby is born.
Who might be in the group?
The first few meetings of a mother’s group are often hosted by a maternal and child health nurse. The mothers can be a mixed bunch in terms of age, background and interests, but what you all have in common is that you’re mums, and your babies will all be very close in age.
The Good
There are many pros in favour of joining a mother’s group, they are a fantastic way to help mums transition into life with a new baby.
1. Advice – You get expert information and guidance.
2. Friendships – You meet other mums who live near you and often have things in common.
3. Sanity – It gets you out and about of the house for adult conversation.
4. Your child can also make lifelong friends.
The Bad
Every mother’s group is different and so is the experience. There are some negative things that some mums MIGHT come across.
1. Bullying – Unfortunately some bullies never grow out of their nasty streak and can show up in your mother’s group.
2. Comparison and competitiveness – Seeing a bunch of mums who all look amazing with babies that they claim are sleeping through the night at three weeks can be super deflating for those of us who haven’t showered for a few days and are getting NO sleep.
3. Judgemental Biatches – So little “Johnny” isn’t sitting up yet or hasn’t got his first tooth, Karen won’t be happy with that and will give you a thousands reasons why her little “George” has developed much earlier and is much smarter even at a few months old.
The Ugly
Sometimes things can get really nasty. Like these two women who decided to have a punch up after a disagreement over COVID.
Two women from a Sydney mothers’ group were taken to hospital after a group argument about coronavirus escalated into a violent brawl.
According to Northern Beaches Police, the women, both aged in their 30s decided to “resolve their issues in person”.
One woman reportedly brought another member of the mother’s group for back-up.
The argument allegedly escalated from verbal to physical abuse involving pushing, slapping and hair pulling.
The Kind of Mums You Meet at Mother’s Group
- ‘I’m not judging’ Judgy Mum
- The Organiser Mum
- Stressed-Out Mum
- ‘I don’t want to be here’ Mum
- Facebook or Instagram Mum
- Panicked Mum
- Snobby Mum
- Chill Mum
Other options…
If you’re having difficulty bonding with the women in your group, you can try alternatives like joining your local playgroup, visiting story time at your local Library or signing up to Gymbaroo.
Or why not check out one of the millions of online support groups to see if that suits you better. Better yet, do all the above and see what feels most comfortable for you and your bub.
